Hahahaha

a man walks into a sex shop to buy himself a blow up doll.

he walks up to the counter and asks the clerk if they have any blow up dolls for sale. The clerk tells him they have plenty in stock and proceeds to ask the customer which kinda doll he'd like to buy.

clerk: did you want a male or female?
custy: female ofcourse.

Clerk : did u want a caucasian or black doll?
custy: white plz

Clerk: did u want her to be catholic or muslim?
The customer is a lil confused and asks what the hell is the difference its a rubber doll ?!

clerk then replies = the muslim ones tend to blow up .

Whats it called when a man talks sexually to a woman?
Sexual Harrassment

Whats it called when a woman talks sexually to a man?
$3.99 a minute

Originally Posted by 240sxy

^^X2 THAT IS AWESOME I LOVE IT EVEN THO ITS SO OLD..BUT GREAT!

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
>>dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
>>girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
>>like to go out and make love for the first time.
>>
>>Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
>>he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
>>pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
>>everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
>>
>>At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
>>he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
>>insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
>>busy, it being his first time and all.
>>
>>That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
>>meets his girlfriend at
>>the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to
>>meet my parents, come on in!"
>>
>>The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
>>girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
>>and bows his head.
>>
>>A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
>>head down.
>>
>>10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
>>
>>Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
>>leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you
>>were this religious."
>>
>>The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was
>>a pharmacist."

I can honestly say I have never heard that one before
good job!

an elderly couple are at the breakfast table one morning, and as usuall the elderly man always buys things that have a good review on them in the pappier, so he says to his wife thats what im going to do with my day, im going to go buy a set of these new radial tires there suppose to last twice as long as the regular ones, his wife replies why are you going to pay a bunch of money for some nice new tires for you old rusted out beat up car?.............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ............................................the husband replies i dont complain when you buy new bras

Larry and Bob wanted to go out drinking but they only had $2.00 between them. Larry said, "Hang on I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and spent the $2.00 on one large sausage.
Bob said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!"
Larry replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."
They went into the pub where Larry immediately ordered two double shots of Jack Daniels.
Bob said, "Now you've lost it! Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money to pay for this!"
Larry replied with a smile, "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" and with that they downed their drinks.
Larry said "OK! I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you get on your knees and put it in your mouth."
The barman noticed them, went berserk and threw them out.
They continued this, bar after bar, getting more and more drunk all for free.
At the tenth bar Bob said, "Larry - I don't think I can do this anymore. My mouth is sore and my knees are killing me!"
Larry said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage at the third bar!"

Snap!

F irst the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing.'"
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.

Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.

Two lovely hips to! increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.

Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.

Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,

And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.

Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,

And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.

'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.





Then he added a mouth.



And Ruined the whole FUCKING thing

^^^hahahahaha thats the truth for sure

It Was Worth It
>
>Grandpa and Grandma are visiting their grown son and his family for
>Christmas. (Gramps is 85 and his son is 60). So while fumbling around in
>the medicine cabinet, Grandpa comes across a bottle of son's viagra.
>
>"Hey, I been hearin' about this stuff? Is it any good? You think I ought
>to try it?"
>
>"Well, Pop," says the son, "it's a potent and expensive drug. I don't
>think you ought to take it unless your doctor prescribes it."
>
>"Expensive, huh? How much is it?" asks Grandpa.
>
>"Ten dollars a pill," the son says.
>
>"Well I just believe I'll try one of ! them if you don't mind," says
>Grandpa. "I'll put a ten under your pillow just as soon as I get this
>fifty broken."
>
>So next day, the son finds $110 under his pillow. "You misunderstood, Pop,"

>he says. "Viagra is $10 per pill, not $110."
>
>"I know," said Gramps. "The hundred is from Grandma."
>
>

*Here is a 1-question IQ Test

QUESTION:

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth,
he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper
and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair
of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think
about it first before scrolling down for the answer.






































ANSWER:

He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a
pair of sunglasses."

If you got this wrong - please pack up your things,
turn off your computer and call it a day.*

i answered why the f@$K would he need sunglasses anyways the suns not gonna hurt his eyes!!!!

A guy walks into a bar and notices that behind the bar is jar full of ten dollar bills.
He asks the bartender "whats with the jar of money?"
The bartender replies"if you put a tenin the jar and do three simple things you can win the money"
The guy says"ok what do i have to do?"
Bartender says "first thing you have to do is drink an entire bottle of tequila,eat the worm and not make any sort of face afterwards."
"Second, i have a dog out back that needs a tooth pulled,and third my 85 year old grandma needs an orgasm...can you do this?
The guy says "ok no problem",as he puts the money in the jar.
So the barkeep gives the man the bottle of tequila and he drinks it,chews up the worm and says "wheres your dog?"
Bartender takes him to this room in the back, opens the door and sends him in.A few minutes go by and the bartender hears a ton of barking and then the man comes out,covered in blood, and asks "ok wheres the old bag that needs her tooth pulled?

^^ heh heh heh... gross... lol

hey,no dissrespect everyone but here some classic yo mama joke's for those who care:
yo mama is Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her
picture on the milk truck. :hail:

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, when she dances at a club, she makes the band skip.

Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time.

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo mama's so fat, when your dad climbs on top of her, his ears pop.

Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the lightbulb.

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.

Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck. :hail:

Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama's so fat, the bitch jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, her lipstick comes in a spray can.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.

Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.

Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she is backing up.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints.

A pirate walks into a bar. A man sitting at the bar notics him and sees that he has the wheel of the pirate ship down his pants. Confused by this the man asks the pirate:

"Hey whats up with the steering wheel down your pants?"

The pirate replies,

"ARG! Its drivin me nuts!"

Had to redeem the bad pirate joke earlier in this thread.

CRX Forum

what's in the toilet on the starship enterprise?....................................... .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .........the captain's log

what do lesbian's when their on their on rag's?............................................ .......................................finger paint

how many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
none,they just sit in the dark and cry


how many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

3,one to put in a blacklight,one to cut and cry,and one to write a song about it!

my first job was working in a orange juice factory,but i got canned,i just couldn't concentrate

Three blondes are trapped on an island, they find a genie in a bottle. The first blonde says "Genie, i wish i were smarter so i could escape from this island" so he turns her into a brunette, and she just swims across the lake and she's free. The 2nd blonde tells the genie "Genie, i wish i were even smarter to find an easier way off the island" he turns her into a red head, she builds a raft and sails across. The 3rd blonde says to the genie "genie i wish i was the smartest" so he turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge

Kris walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His wife is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a
sheep, you idiot."

The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."